**

***

****

It was a wonderful morning!

And I woke up with a smile :) 

The Lord answered my prayer I made last night, 

it was so specific and so timely. 

**

*** 

Anna is back!

good to see her in the house again, though kinda sad that she 

will be going back to her hometown and not staying with me 

anymore next year, i wish her all the best. 

I am praying still for a nice female room mate, so far I have 

two girls in mind, but still uncertain if they will confirm soon. 

Pray for me that my landlord will give me grace to find a room mate

and allow me to stay in the house still, I do not want to move!!

**

*** 

I recently discovered my daddy has a facebook! 

and mum is planning to have one too! the fact that my dad

accepted my as 'friend' and wrote on my wall surprised me :p

HAHA, my parents are always learning the 'IN' stuff and catching

up with the trends. She even told me that she wants to play the 

Farms Vile game ( not sure if this is what it is called ) but she said

it in Chinese : 種菜 ! so cute :) 

**

*** 

Had cell group on Sat night with Ben and Lynda :) 

Refreshing thoughts and studies on 1 John. 

two simple and hard questions they asked : 

1. Do you know God?

2. What would you answer if someone asks you : '' if I don't love

   people, does it mean I am not a Christian? '' 

Each of us have different answers and it is true that the answer varied by 

what kind of person asks that question ( s ) . 

We talked about knowing God involves the personal relationship with Him, through

this we know Him. And another point of view is through His words, His revelation and through our knowledge, we know Him. 

We talked about loving people is a will, a choice. Though it may be frustrating to love unloveable people, ultimately, we need to make a choice if we want to love him/her or

we continue to be frustrated and unloving towards certain people around us. 

***

Ok, here it goes, 

I must confess that I am struggling. 

Struggling with support raising...

Somehow, I enjoy doing it, but the problem is, the money that I am trusting God

to provide does not come in! Though it has just been sufficient the past 4 + months since

I first started, it is risky as the number of supporters is not increasing, there were no 

more love gifts(yet), and I am not sure if the current regular supports are going to be

steady all the time.... I have challenged all I could, disappointments seem to be all that

i am receiving recently. 

Being officially 'released' from my parent's pocket money, I am getting more anxious. 

The tithings , bills, rental, food, dance class, and leisure.... 

How? 

When I was a student, I often heard the staff sharing of their challenges... now experiencing it 

is total whole lots of different emotions than simply 'hearing' it. 

I could feel my faith being stretched so much that I do not know how to describe it!

My lips sang these words to the Lord : 

So You Would Come by Hillsong united : 

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

It is ok to feel this way, God says.
And truly there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more, to make Him close the doors. I don't know how the money is going to come in, I don't know when my prayers are going to be answered at all, 

I don't know what else I can do after trying all ways to raise support...

But I will worship YOU and give you thanks still :) 

Simply of things you have done for me. 

**

*** 

***

as i dance to the song I can only imagine, 

there is a longing in me to worship Him with dance all day long. 

how sweet and powerful it is to experience the steps through the Father. 

there are many many examples, though, when one falls on his knee, 

uses his very personal way/gift to worship Him, God's presence and 

power is known and touched by individuals. 

i thought these are very special moments when God reveals Himself 

to us in a way so personal.

**

***

Thank God that i received my full rebate for the Apple Mac promotion. 

there were times when i almost thought ... maybe...i should just say something...

that may not be really true... so that i can get my rebate back in full....

simple things could make me struggle so much. 

sorry for even THINKING of committing a sin... 

i am glad i didnt and decided to see what happened...haha...

happpy God still bless me with it !! though ( by right ) i am not supposed to get the 

full amount of money. 

**

***

I received a hand-made nuggets ( with smiley face ) and a sandwich !

felt so xin fu :) 

**

***

pray for my daddy and family, 

it must have not been easy for daddy to handle the stress and press on at the same time, 

i am so proud to be his daughter, really. 

i pray for more time with him. 

**

*** 

things are getting better each day :) 

**

*** 

i think when i have my own house/family, 

i will : 

1. bake muffins, cookies, cakes and all kinds of stuff

2. make a mirror wall in my house so i can have a mini dance studio 

3. have a purple curtain 

4. get a victorian lights

5. have a fake fire place ( which will not have fire, but my teddy bears and books ) 

...

...

...

...

...

as you know, the list gets longer and longer everyday! haha

**

*** 

dare to dream!

you must!

**

*** 

***

Had dinner with my poly girlfriends last night. 

it is always a joy to meet up with them. We have been trying 

to meet and do all kinds of activities regularly. 

Our next outing, hopefully , will be a kite-flying outing :) 

haha!

Honestly, come to think about it, most of my close friends are siblings in Christ, 

thats why i am really amazed and thankful by how God bless my friendship with 

the girls. We have different beliefs and values. but this does not stop me from loving

them :) 

**

*** 

I have just sent our my August newsletter. 

Hoping to see more responses :) 

**

*** 

Aug and Sept are the peak two months every year as many people's birthdays fall

within the time!

parties after parties, food after food, gifts after gifts. 

i am enjoying it actually, cos it's really a time to catch with the old friends :) 

**

*** 

What if God does give me the best and have given me the best , it just that i have not

realised it? 

or What if God has not given me the best and i am just settling withe the ' better' ( not 

the best ) ? or perhaps, the better will become best eventually?

So God, which way are you working on now? 

I know I won't get an immediate answer from you , will I ?

**

*** 

***

attended IDMC , Intentional Disciple Making Conference last week.

It was fruitful.Lots to absorb and learn. 

I even discovered my interest in theology!! it is really fun , enlightening and satisfies my thirst.

the best , and most memorable conference i enjoyed. 

( probably cos i've been always disliking going for seminars , conferences...etc .. ) 

I registered for me and piggy for next year's one! ( which holds 3 thousands plus seats , this year was 2800 seats ) 

and just when i was thinking to bless my church-mates with the $20 discount for registration , they announced that

the live package was closed. it was fully booked......!

:s so fast.. Thank God i am fast enough. 

anw , don really know what and how to share about what i learnt , taking half day off to reflect and re-arrange my 

thoughts. 

:) I desire to know God more. 

**

*** 

** 

I am reading Boundaries in Dating. 

Boundaries are you '' property lines'' which define and protect you. 

May God minister to me through this book :) 

**

*** 

** 

I finally signed up for my very first Ballet Class!

though learnt some basic moves during my contemporary classes , 

i realised it was not enough , and i believe ballet helps in all kinds of dance. 

excited for it !! hope I can have more resources to develop my dance techniques !

**

***

** 

***

Hello!! good morning :) 

Though i had a bad and moody night last night , just before I slept , 

hahas , i am good the moment i woke up , thank God for that !

**

*** 

Something i've wanted to note down are some of the verses i read during my qt a couple of days back : 

A popular verse , yet , it speaks to me differently each time. 

Sometimes I allow my moody emotion, unhealthy ones... affects me too much. 

and it really does make my day so terrible... 

so,what's wrong with being emotional? what's wrong with expressing my emotions and feelings?

what's wrong with tearing when i am hurt or sad? 

well,nothing wrong i guess...... but i began to see how it may be a bad habit throwing my 

tantrum, and how it is definitely NOT beneficial to my mental and physical health...

praying and learning to control my 'feelings'...

That's why , sexual sins are so deadly... be always alert of how my temple of Holy Spirit is being

taken care of. And I pray for all who are my brothers and sisters , to intentionally honor God

with their body. 

:)

I tend to complain and complain and complain in certain circumstances in which i am in... and bargain with 

God how He should have changed my situation , and how it is not good for Him to put me into such a place , 

with such people , with such ... situation... whatever it may be ...

God , help me to 'remain' in wherever i am , with whatever I have , for you said , keeping your commands 

is what really counts. 

**

*** 

:)